Ain’t No Love Left Down at The Bizarre Cafe
January 16th, 2008.
It seems everybody knows this place, the Bizarre Cafe, in a lay-by off the A4041. Mid-morning, we stop for breakfast. Actually, you can get breakfast at any time of the day or night here. In 2007, this cafe was awarded the accolade of ‘Favourite Greasy Spoon Cafe’ by the Breakfast Show on BBC Radio WM. It is a series of connected temporary structures placed alongside a busy dual-carriage way between Great Barr and West Bromwich. On one side, hidden by a deep cutting through fields, is the M6 motorway and a little further along you can see the tower of All Saints Church – where James Kier, a member of the Lunar Society, is buried, along with James Eaton, a signal midshipman who served on the Temeraire at the Battle of Trafalgar, the man who transmitted Admiral Nelson’s message ‘England expects that every man will do his duty’ as his ships engaged the French. It seems unlikely that these kinds of historical reflections are on anyone’s mind today.
Today it seems more like a lonely hearts club than a popular truckers roadside cafe. Every driver who came in the door seemed to have a break-up story, which they briefly share at the counter, all with long glum faces, shoulders slumped, hands in pockets. between ordering and sitting down to devour their hot meal.
- Alright John, Have a good Christmas?
- Not so bad, mate. Egg and chips please, love.
- How’s Janice doing?
- She packed up and left, mate. Just like that. Took the duvet.
- Same thing happened to Trev, only she took his dvds of ‘Shameless’ as well. Said they’d lost their way.
- No good losing your way when you’re on the road, eh?
- I’ve got Sat Nav now.
- Someone needs to invent one of ‘em that’ll work with women.
No-one seemed interested in watching the sports channels. At one end of the portacabin, goals were frustrated, fouls committed. No-one cared. Along one wall, the plots of TV soap operas unravelled, but even here relationships went off the rails and leaked out into the real world. It seems that, despite advice to the contrary, a lot of people choose to end their relationships at Christmas or New Year. Today we all have got the Blues, and we might burst into a song at any moment.
Surrounding us, on the walls, is an exhibition of slightly anachronistic canvases of Americana complete with twinkling lights. All are for sale. They weren’t here last time and we don’t pay too much attention to them as we tuck into our breakfast. I notice that the bouts of romantic indigestion do not seem to interfere with anyone’s appetite.
Later in the year, the cafe burned to the ground after a late night arson attack. There was nothing left but ashes and memories. The cafe first opened in 1996 and burned down four years later, but was reconstructed with donations of £20,000 from well-wishers. Now it is finally gone.
Photos by Kate Jackson
